monika808

07:49 pm: stupid girl. that's me. stupid stupid girl. i over react and now i'm screwed over.

09:46 am: I'm FREE!!!
NO MORE KIDS! I'm so excited, still sick- but way richer and way less stressed ;) Now I go house sit with Mary for 2 weeks. That's ok though- just a dog. I miss my family though, I've talked to my mom and saw her a lot but I haven't seen my dad in over a week- Maybe I'll invite him to go out to dinner sometime this week- anyways, I think I'm going to be done with this thing- I hate how no one ever comments- its annoying-

07:28 pm: -DRAMA DORK--
[ ] Ever been in a play?
[ ] More than 10 Broadway shows?
[ ] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[ ] Want to end up working in/for theater
[ ] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[ ] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!

Total [0]

--REDNECK--
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[x] Do you like to get dirty in mud?
[x] Do you like country music?
[x] Do you have a broken car in your backyard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[x] Do you live on more then 1 acres?
[ ] Do you have more than 4 different animals at your home?

Total [6]

--GOTH--
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[x] Do you think about death?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[ ] Are you a social outcast?
[x] Are you pale?
[x] Do you like Hot Topic?
[ ] Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
[x] Are you mean sometimes

Total [6]

--SKATER/PUNK--
[ ] Can you skateboard?
[ ] Do you wear Vans/Etnies?
[x]Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you wear a mohawk?
[ ] Do you wear Band T-shirts
[ ] Have you called someone a poser recently?

Total [2]

--PREP--
[x] Do you say the word "like"?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch
[ ] Do you pop the collar?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Is the only nerd you like Seth Cohen?
[x] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] Do you like pop music?
[ ] Do you have a dog?

Total [2]

--HIPPIE--
[x]Is your hair long?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[ ] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?

Total [3]

--GANGSTA--
[x] Do you act ghetto?
[ ] Do you wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[x] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afro's?
[ ] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[ ] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?

Total [5]

--EMO--
[x] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like soft music?
[ ] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut your own hair?
[ ] Are you lonely?
[ ] Is 'Ohio is for Lovers' by Hawthorne Heights a good song?

Total [5]

--SURFER--
[ ] Do you surf?
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy? (unbrushed)
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own Many pairs of shorts?
[x] Do you yearn for the smell of salt water?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x] Do you hate tourists?

Total [5]

--GEEK--
[x] Do you wear glasses?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler?
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[x] Do you look forward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[ ] Do you play video games?

Total [3]

--JOCK--
[x] Do you own a lot of Nike, Adidas, or underarmor?
[x] Do you love the smell of fresh cut grass?
[ ] Are you constantly worrying about being in shape?
[ ] Do you let people know its game day by yelling it through the halls?
[ ] Do you play 2 or more sports?
[ ] Do you know a lot of people just from playing a team sport?
[x] Do you love grass stains, mud, and hurting people?
[ ] Does a whistle blowing pump your adrenaline?
[x] Are you very school spirited?

Total [3]

--NINJA--
[ ] Do you own any swords?
[x] Does the sound of pain amuse you?
[x] Do you wear all black clothing?
[x] Have you ever made those little paper ninja stars? (I BOUGHT a ninja star!)
[ ] Have you ever played Ninja Gaiden?
[ ] Can you vanish in a puff of smoke?
[ ] Can you hide in the shadows?
[ ] Can you kill people without them knowing?
[ ] Can you speak Japanese?

Total [3]

--VAMPIRE--
[ ] Do you have the urge to drink blood?
[x] Do you fall asleep easily in the daytime?
[ ] Are you the most active at night?
[x] Does sunlight burn your flesh?
[x] Are you pale?
[ ] Do you find yourself unnaturally attracted to a person's neck?
[ ] Do you have fangs?

Total [3]

05:42 pm: dear LORD help me!
So...today is the one week mark of being a mom. I've been staying with a three year old and an 8 month old at their house and I'm going insane. For anyone who knows me- you know that I don't like kids. So this is PURE torture. Their parents come back on sunday around 10 pm. I just cant' wait to get paid. 11 days is too long for parents to leave such a little kids and I'm getting the wrath of it. Both boys have ear infections so I had to take them to the doctor and one has fever blisters on his mouth and throat. Now I'm sick too- wonderful. The dog has been puking and so have both boys= I'm about to kill. Overall they are two good boys, but being sick and missing the parents is a terrible combo. I'm really glad I don't have any kids- I'm sure I'd put them up for adoption at this point. All they do is cry, poop and puke. It's disgusting.
I've been talking about living with my cousin next year, I'll be done with school and wouldn't mind living somewhere else if it worked out. I'm not sure how we'd get along, but I think it would be so fun.
Oh- the mom here has this perfume that I love so now I need to go to NYC and get some from Chinatown. It's allure by chanel - i'm in love.
that's all for now= oh...this jerkoff guy sent me a mean thing to myspace- how can i make it for friends only?? please help me!
KEEP PRAYING FOR ME PLEASE! I NEED MORE PATIENCE!

07:07 pm: 1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Married for 27 years, almost 28

2) Vegetarian?
no, but I'm really picky on my meat, anything I had/have in my backyard I will not eat.

3) Heaven?
Absolutely.

4) Come close to dying?
No

5) What jewelry do you wear?
right now I'm plain Jane because I can't wear them at school- so I only wear my tragus piercings because I can't take them out by myself

6) Are you eating?
Just ate peanut butter and jelly on toast, Spatz :)

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yes

8) Makeup?
always mascara, we'll see if I get motivated to do any more

10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Not sure, not an option now I'm broke.

11) What do you wear to bed?
comfy pants, long sleeve shirt because my room is freezing, and sometimes socks- yes Mary! Socks!

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
dumb question

13) Can you roll your tongue?
no

14) Pluck your eyebrows?
yes, Val made me get a little obsessed with it

15) What kind of watch (es) do you wear?
Fossil

16) Abortion?
not for me

17) Hair color?
Who knows- always changing

18) Future child's name?
I love the name Laney, but we'll see

19) Do you snore?
no, I talk though

20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would you go?
I'd love to go to Boston or anywhere else out east- I've only been west

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no I have too many pillows

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
I would just pay cash for everything for life-

23) Gold or silver?
silver.

24) Hamburger or hot dog?
hamburger

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
oatmeal

26) Beach, city, or country?
city

27) Who was the last person you touched?
nikki- wait...is this supposed to be sexually?? Nikki was just here dropping stuff off and I bumped into her

28) Where do you eat?
dining room

29) When's the last time you cried?
i almost did on thursday but didn't- but it still counts

30) Have you loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
eh- yea

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
i wear jeans and hoodies- does that count?

32) Ever been involved with the police?
nothing too serious

33) Believe in Santa?
YES

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
yea

35) Beach or pool?
beach I love sand!

36) Can you cross your eyes?
no

37) What's your favorite song at the moment?
anything by James Blunt

38) Window seat or aisle?
aisle I hate flying and pretend I'm not on a plane

39) Ever met any famous bands/singers/actors?
yes, Ted Nugent was my first

40) Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
what is successful to you? I was satisfied with it, so I guess?

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
twirl

42) Rickie Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Oprah

43) Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
No

44) How long does your shower last?
I hate being in there long- my fingers prune- I'd say about 7 minutes max

45) Do you drive stick?
No, I wish! I can do the handle part but I stall with the feet

46) Cake or ice cream?~
ice cream hate cake

48)What time do you get up?
depends what day- by 830 i'm up everyday

49) Have you ever given money to a bum?
yes, lots of time in NY and once in saginaw, my heart aches for them

50) When was your first crush?
that I remember 6th grade

51) Where do you wish you were??
sleeping!

52) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
not yet- but I think I need to!

53) Ever been given a ring?
yea- never wear it, never want another one from a guy

54) Longest relationship?
3 years and some random days and hook ups

55) Last gift you received:
money

56) Last sport you played?
pool does that count?

57). Things you spend a lot of money on?
gas, shoes, drawers

58) Where do you live?
munger

59) High school you attend(ed):
nouvel

60) Last wedding attended:
michael's sister

61) Favorite fast food restaurant:
fazolis

62) Where do you work:
mmg

63) Can you cook?
not really...

64) Most hated food:
chicken, turkey, fish

65) Can you sing?
uh, no so i don't do it

66) Last concert attended:
Dave

67) Favorite Nonalcoholic drink:
water

68) Favorite Alcoholic drink:
i'm not drinking for a month, so i cant talk about it

69) Current Love:
good movies

07:37 pm:

okay- so i haven't updated in a LONG time and enough people have given me a hard time for it, so here I am. Pretty much all I've been doing is watching Sex and the City and wishing I was in NYC being able to shop at the HUGE Victoria Secret store and HM whenever I want. Val and I tried planning a trip there, but we are both poor college kids with little to spare right now. Especially after Christmas.

Starting next week I will be an official mom. I am babysitting 2 boys under the age of 3 for ten days straight. Their parents are going to Hawaii and I think I'm going to die. THe other day Chase was at my house..the 3 year old...and he pooped on my bathroom floor- i wanted to cry. The only room in my WHOLE house that has carpet and that's the one he chose to shit on. Wonderful. Please keep me in your prayers while I'm crying. If anyone is good with kids- please let me know- let's hang out :)

I'm pretty sure that I'm having a drought- I can't seem to like any guys lately that are worth anything-

I had a terrible evening with my dad tonight, he's got so much power and he doesnt realize it. He has hurt my family so many ways yet is so naive to it all. I don't understand what goes through that mans head.

Pretty much all for now, I'm way more addicted to Facebook then this now, so that's another reason I'm not on here- if you're on facebook...find me :) let's be friends! If you do'nt know my last name, just ask--- bye guys!

 

Monica

08:39 pm: *I miss my bed*

I haven't been home since Monday and I am sick of sleeping in other beds. As much as I love seeing everyone, I miss snuggling up with my pillows and blankets. I miss the smell of my house, I miss my couch, I miss my shower, I miss everything...only a couple more hours and I will be there. I can't wait :)

There was some drama with my teachers this week but unfortunatley for them I started out going into Criminal Pysch and I know way more about the law then they thought I did. Needless to say things worked out in my best interest and I am just hoping they don't hold this against me all year. I love hanging out with Erica and Chelsea those girls are so funny, and its fun to have new friends that you learn about. I usually don't like meeting new people, but in this case it worked out. They are trying to talk to me into going to CMU tomorrow night, but my body is exhausted from everything that has happened this past week, I'm not sure if I'm going to go or not. I'd rather hang out and watch dvds all night. I really don't want to go there, no offense to the boys- but I can go anytime, so we'll work something out.

I'm still babysitting- its strange going from never having done it in my life to doing it all the time lately. I know I complain about it, but its easy money and Chase isn't that bad. He's lucky he's cute though. I watched him all day and now I'm watching Mary's nephew Ashton while his parents are at the Spirit game. He's sleeping now, and I'm thinking that I might take a nap too...but I'm scared they'll come home and be like what the hell?

Everyone will be home pretty soon, I miss my group...I wish Beth was going to be here, but not until Dec. 19th. Hopefully the time will fly- I want to go out with her and show her how fun it is here... compared to AZ...haha yea right :) I need to go out there soon, its been way too long since I've been to Phoenix, and I can def. use a vacation.

My money problems are supposed to be coming to an end according to my horoscope, so that's cool. I'm done making car payments which is really nice- but now I want a new car...but I'm going to wait till I'm done with school. I've actually noticed that my savings is growing and my card is paid off almost too, so maybe my horoscope is right. Have any of you done Runes before? I just bought them and even though I'm not supposed to believe in that stuff, I love it. I think its soo fun- I'm a big reader into signs, and I thought some were happening, but now I'm second guessing that.

Anyways- I am going to see what's on friday night tv- I couldn't tell you the last time I wasn't out on a friday- this is kind of nice :) I can't wait to see everyone over thanksgiving- don't forget going out on tuesday with me...yay!

Trisha- when will you be here? We can't waste time

08:53 pm: what a good day

So I pulled a Val today and took a personal day. It's my first time skipping class this semester so I think it's all right. I hung out with my aunt for a bit, we went to my house and she helped me with get my jewelry together to take to the dentist office to sell. Then went back to her house and hung out for a minute. I went to Dr. Herzler's and they bought a ton of jewelry and gave me scrubs and masks to use for class, I was so excited! I know it sounds so boring, but it's so fun to me haha. Then I went shopping, Old Navy, the mall, Best Buy, Wal-Mart- all over, I started Christmas shopping for Nikki- so far she's all I've bought for.

After shopping I had some time to kill, so I went and saw the Stephen's, Brayton is up north hunting, but Lottie was there. I stayed and talked with her for a couple of hours- she's so fun. It was nice being there, she gave me more stickers for cars but I think I'm going to wait until winter is over because I don't want to put it on and have it rub off with this crazy weather that is on the way.

Then I went to Timber's...so good. Then work was pretty good too- there are two new girls who seem real nice- they can't go out to the bar, but I guess I can be friends with them still :) Since the other coach is gone for a couple months I'm in charge of level 4's which is fun, I like being in control alone. The girls are so much fun, maybe I'll try to get a pic of them to put on here.

So Kyle is having this holiday dance party, I think it's really interesting. I haven't digested it yet I guess. I'm just not sure what it means and what is supposed to happen there? We'll play it by ear.

12 days till the big 22. I'm not so excited, but I'm sure it will be fun. It just sucks that its on a tuesday, the only fun place will be the Pub and usually that's too busy for me. I bought a shirt for it, but I"m not sure if I will actually wear it, its pretty risky for me. I might just have to toughen up.

I have a big bur test tomorrow worth 50 pts so I should go and study, but I'm addicted to this and facebook, so here I am. I'm staying at my grandma's tonight- I love getting babied by her...just kidding, I wish she did :) Have a good night-

09:06 pm: I do not want kids for a LOONNGG time

Wow- after babysitting for so long today I am really glad that God has not let me get pregnant. I would go crazy. Chase was sick and throwing up, then I had Hunter too for awhile who shit all over everything, his clothes, me, it was absolutley disgusting. I am very glad to be home.

I've had a lot of good 'friend' moments lately. It's good to know that I have friends I can count on no matter how small the matter is. Some friends I've also realized aren't the best for me--- one in particular. But I haven't heard from or talked to her in sometime so I guess she feels the same away towards me. Which is fine.

Um what else...I've been collaging a lot lately, and I think I've o'd on it. Yes Jessica, like sloppy joes. haha. It's fun though, I've done a nice big section on Brian, it turned out great. I miss that kid like crazy, I really should go see his parents, I know I keep saying that, but I need to. I ran into Brayton at chucky cheese...but didn't have much time talk.

Speaking of which, I think Chucky Cheese is my personal hell. I can almost guarentee that is what it would look like which is motivation enough to be a good person.

That's about all for now- I don't think anything exciting took place today... except hearing from Nikki, that was nice. Ok, well have a good night- and a busy week :) The weekend can't come soon enough

I only have 12 days left for my plan and it is not looking good- I need to up my game, any ideas? Trisha- yes you know who I"m talking about- now make it happen!

07:44 pm: let's see if this works!! *crosses fingers*

Erica, me and Chelsea


Mary, Erica, Chelsea, me and my cousin Jess

07:28 pm: I love pictures

I'm all excited right now because Chelsea just emailed me the pictures from this weekend- they are cute

Thanks to Av for helping with lj! That's what friends are for :)

Ok...so this weekend at Western was fun- a lil drama, but it usually follows me. I had a good time seeing everyone- met new friends that were great, got a little closer with Erica and Chelsea which was awesome. Yay for Erica getting out and away from studying!

I recommend every guy go out and buy Givenchy cologne- that is absolutely amazing!

I also was cheezing all friday afternoon- my work friends were so confused- the little girls were like Monica what's wrong? haha-

10:02 am:

OK...so slowly but surely I'm getting this to work...

 

This week is going by slowly since I'm so excited about this weekend. I'm glad Erica and Chelsea decided to go too, I just hope we all get along and have a good time. There will be 14 of us staying with Jess, that's a lot in her little house, but it will be fun I'm sure. :)

I have a dentist appt soon, I'm so excited- I love going there. It is even more exciting now that I know what they are talking about while I sit there- I can't wait to be working in that atmosphere. I'm hoping they find something cool- not like my dream though.

Val is officially 21 now, I'm sure she's in bed waking up more drunk then she was last night, that's usually what happens with her. She's funny.

I've been thinking alot about therapy again...not that anything bad is going on with me that I can't handle, but I think Anthony might have been right about getting over the whole thing with my dad. We'll see I guess- I hate that he knows/knew me so well to make this kind of assumption. And I hate that he is probably right.

Well I'm off to start my day...I think I finally found out how to get my picture to show up :) yay! 

08:24 am:

Just a quick update on this weekend...

Thursday Mary and I stayed at her sister's house and watched Ashton, he's so cute- we watched the OC and talked--- the usual. Then friday I babysat and worked at the gym then went to pick Val up for her 'birthday' celebration. Meaning she's not 21 yet, but she was in town so we had to take advantage and get her into any bar we could- which meant Len and Gerry's. We had fun, our whole old group was there almost with the exception of a few- Mark, Dan, Tony, Val, Mare, Me, Cash, it was fun- more fun than I've had in a long time. I miss those guys so much- we had a blast. A lot of Nouvel people were there- I love it- I love Nouvel haha. I talked to Kris for a bit- he's a nice guy, I wish I ran into him more.

Then Val and I went over to Mo, Pinner and Paul's house for awhile- wow did I find out some shocking news. Ah well- you win some and lose some. I lost. Haha. We hung out there for a bit, then went back to her house. Long night, little sleep.

Saturday I went bazaaring with mom and grandma- that was fun, those old ladies push their way around those like its their last day alive. Crazy. Then I worked and went with Mare to babysit Bierleins, then we went to L&G again for Andy's birthday. We didn't stay out late though, we were both exhausted from the night before. Then Mary was blowing on my face...

Sunday boring lazy day- church with mom, shopping for groceries, Grandma and Grandpa Rethman came over and I watched the Longest Yard and fell asleep. Exciting.

Today I'm babysitting Chase in awhile- then 2 tests and 2 papers due- so I will be taking him to the library today...not sure how that is going to go- but let's cross our fingers! I hope everyone had a good weekend- next weekend I'm going to WMU so I won't be around...but I can't wait to go and see Jess!

Kaitlin or someone...I have some pics I want to put on here- can you tell me how you do it?

Bye friends...

love, Monica :)

03:41 pm: a weekend that has me exhausted

Ok so this weekend was exactly what I wasn't expecting. Friday I worked until 9:30 then met Mary and Kristie at the quad to see Wedding Crashers. Very funny. I think I might have crush on Vince Vaughn- I loved him. Then went home to hang out with Nick. Saturday went to SVSU to tailgate with him, Nikki and her family. (FYI Nick is my brother and Nikki is his gf) Her brother is the captain for Mich Tech and that's who they played, so we went to watch him. That turned into a really emotional experience for me. My dad is a big drinker, and anyone who is close to me know how much this has had an effect on me, and my brother did some things that just were crazy- and it ended up with me crying like a 5 year old- and Nikki doing the same. Thank God the day is over, because I really needed it to end.

After hanging out there I followed this really nice family to Howell to hang out with Derek. Once I got to his house we hung out and talked for awhile and then decided on Bennigans for some food. We had a good time lounging around and watching pretty much every sporting event that was on tv...which I can guarentee was more fun for him than for me...I had a better time when it was just him and I, but his friend came over later and things quickly changed directions. I think I'd have liked his friend more if I hadn't had such a bad day because Nick was mean like I am, but I just wasn't in the mood for it. I don't think I even want to comment on the rest of the night- let's say that things happen for a reason, and hopefully I know the reason for this one. Don't get me wrong, Derek and I get along well- I just never know what to think once I leave or he leaves. Ah well, its always fun to just have a snuggle buddy.

I'm tired today, I just took a nice long nap though- I put in the Notebook and sure enough it was uninteresting enough that it let me fall asleep pretty fast. I still feel like I'm sleeping right now, but I have to force myself to stay awake or else tomorrow will be an even longer than day then it usually is. I'm glad I do'nt have class- just Chase all day- he's such a lil stud.

Oh- so after the drama with my brother and Nikki I did something I pry shouldn't have- but I called Anthony and left him a message crying and saying how I needed to talk to him. I normally wouldn't have done that, I mean I haven't talked to him in almost 6 months, but he was there through so much with my family that he is one of the only ones that really knows what goes on- so suprisingly he called me back and we talked. It was nice, but at the same time I regretted calling him and getting him involved in things that he didn't need to be a part of. I dont want to be that type of ex-girlfriend, but bottom line is that if you date someone for 3 years you can't turn off the switch of connection very easily. Anyways, I know it was a dumb decision, but too late now.

I've been downloading Ben Harper songs like crazy- he's so hot. I love his music, WalkAway is my new fav. of his, but I hate it too because its a bit depressing...haha. I'm a girl- never can make up her mind.

ooo...I bought new t-shirt sheets this weekend, does anyone else have and love these!? I think they are amazing- mmmm. It's the small things that keep me happy I guess. Ok- well people used to leave me messages on here, and now no one does- how come? All right- well Have a good week!

10:51 pm: so sleepy

Yes, I'm very tired- so this will be short- I just haven't been on here in a few days. I have seen my 2 gfs a lot this week, and that's fun...and well needed. Advice is coming to me from every which way- and I have no idea's whose to take. I wish I could give myself some. Um, so this weekend I'm officially going to hang out with Derek- dinner drinks movie- sounds like fun- we get along so well- I'm sure we'll have a good time. Then I have tons of studying to do on Sunday.

Kristie gave me her blessing- she had to. I did what I thought was appropriate and it blew up so far in my face- the rules of the game are pathetic. I should have been the boy. God should have known. :)

I love my job lately- coaching these girls is sooo much fun ! I hope it works out with my classes for the rest of the year. I also love who I work with- they are a real fun group...with the exception of one ...haha.

All right, well I'm taking Chase bumper bowling tomorrow, hopefully things go well. I'll update more interesting things later-

01:59 pm: My cheeks hurt from smiling :)

Yesterday was a huge crazy day- but overall, it was really great. Mom and I took Savannah and Josie (my 2 little cousins) shopping and then I accidentally killed their cat. Yes I feel bad- so please don't tell me I'm going to hell. Then I was on the phone for possibly 4 straight hours with different people until my phone finally died. My phone was so hot, and it made my cheeks red like crazy- normally they only get like that when I...haha, nevermind. When Beth and I talk it makes me miss her so much- I can't wait until she's home. She was freaking out of making a 'mistake' with the ex- but I'm pretty sure everyone of my close friends have done the exact same thing- it happens. Val called- which is always interesting haha, she's got such a different outlook on life- its fun to see things from her p.o.v. I feel bad for her situation with the fam, but just like Desperate Housewives, every family has their set of problems, some just hide them better. I talked to Cass too- I'm trying to work her game for her- I think her and Rufis would be adorable together :) My cousin is trying to get me to move in with her, which is something I would consider in August once I"m done with school- not yet. I think we'd fight everyday if we lived together- we'll see!

Anyways- Val's proud of me- I think? :)

This weekend might end up being a huge big mistake- but I think its a chance that I need to take. I feel bad that I'm always so vague on here, but I'm just not sure who all reads it...and although this guy is not usually online- he's a little sneaky- so he might be reading it anyways. haha- I'm pretty sure no one is approving of it except me anyways, so you're better off not knowing.

 

07:05 pm: day 1

So Val called me today and told me she's worried about me for an *interesting* reason :) wow is all I can say. She decided that I have until my birthday to hook up with the crush- which means I have 38 days- and if nothing happens- like more hanging out, a kiss or SOMETHING, then I have to let it go and move on. She's my most ridiculous friend ever, always looking out for me in the most absurd ways. But I love her! Today is day 1, we'll see what happens. She's not coming home for her bday anymore, but hopefully she'll meet me, Mare, Cassie and whoever else goes at Western for CMU/WMU weekend. I'm pretty excited about that. Anyone of you going? Or want to go?

I've been having really shitty dreams lately- ones that have such great detail they freak me out. The other night at Kristie's I woke up crying, which I've never done before, because of a dumb dream about a dumb person. Anyways, school is clicking and I'm not sure if I mentioned that before or not. But my fam is over and we are about to eat tacos :) Hope everyone is having a good weekend... *wish me luck*

05:49 pm: Can someone please tell me how to make a cool background with pictures like some of you have? I want it to be cool like Jordanne's, but I don't have the same program she has. Please help me :( anyone?

My rich text won't work either - so now not only is my background ugly, my font is too. Aww.

Ok- so this whole week I've been staying with Kristie and Amy to save some gas. It's been fun, Kristie and I haven't hung out in awhile and we needed to. We had a really good laugh one night, we were being ridiculous, but sometimes you need to do that. Last night I stayed at Mary's, I love that girl. She's so great. School actually clicked this week, I'm not sure what it is, but everything is falling into place and I'm so happy. I was really stressing out early and now I just keep thinking only a couple more months. I can do it.

I feel like there are new things going on in my life, but there really aren't. I talked to Mr. Emmenecker on the phone tonight, that was hot. I haven't told Val yet- she'll think that's weird. Its good to be home after being gone for so many nights, I can't wait to sleep in my bed. Kristie said she's going to order me this thing from LTD that is a huge pillow and it has an arm on it so you can snuggle with it, I'm pretty excited.

This is going to be a pretty uneventful weekend, I'd like to get ahead on some of my projects due- so I'm trying to tell myself I'm staying home. But...it was pay week, so I have 2 checks right now that look like good bar money. My priorities are so confused. I'm up for a good movie though if anyone just wants to hang out and watch one- let me know.

I think I'm going to email Derek tonight, we have such a weird thing. That's all I can call it- with us being so far from each other we shouldn't even really try to be friends, but we get along so well. I miss hanging out with him- I need to know if he's going to Central/Western weekend.

Kaitlin- I went to Tim Hortons today and got a chili bread bowl- I LOVE IT...its my fav! I thought of you :) Anyways- That's pretty much all I have right now- I miss things that I used to be able to do in the fall...where is all my time?

01:05 pm:

Yesterday turned out all right after all, Cats was really good, I was getting antsy near the end- but it was just as good this time as any other time I've seen it. Mare and I went to BDubs to meet Kel for her 21st- then went to Westtown. Well, Mare and I went to Lucky's first while we debated going next door. It was ok- I pretty much hate Midland St, and last night reminded me why. I saw a lot of people from Reese that I didn't care to see, which was fine- just could have lived without it. Kirk was there, that was exciting, I haven't seen him in a while and he looked hot as usual :) He's so nice, I can't believe that he's going to marry this girl though- I never thought he'd settle down. On the way home (ok back to Mary's) we called my drunk cousin- she was so funny! We laughed at her and called her a slut- per usual. Ha.

Today I'm taking my cousin Hunter to the pumpkin farm- should be interesting since the kid is the devil. He's lucky he's so cute. I think Nick and Nikki might go with us.

I think I'm going to WMU next weekend, I haven't decided- I just miss it there- I miss my bf. Stud. Anyways, not much else- *have a good day*

05:33 pm: It's official- I'm a total girl

Today is quite possibly my girliest loserest day ever. It's terrible! I'm being 'that pathetic girl' and its someone I never wanted to be. Without going into too much detail- I need to toughen up and let go of the past. A part of me will always be wishing things never changed, but deep down I know that I will realize that its the best thing. I'm not stupid, I do realize that I should be over this by now...but I tend to hold on to things too long and get sad and ridiculous when its time to let go of things that are important to me. After hearing this news today- I have so many crazy emotions and thoughts flying through my head that I want to do drugs to get them out of there! Seriously- its a definate good thought. I wish I could fast forward sometimes and see what this part and time of my life prepared me for. Right now I am in the dark. However, despite the news I was able to talk to a *really* good friend of mine who I miss a lot. Ok- now I'm crying. I can't handle this girl thing. Someone please shoot me.

Anyways- tonight is Kelly's 21st...Mare and I are going to BDubs with her, but not staying with them all night since we don't know anyone really.Then who knows- I need to have a good night. This week has been really shitty- I've cried more than I needed to that's for sure. I'm usually not like this- I hope it doesn't last long. Well, I'm at my grandma's and need to start getting ready- I'm going to Mary's in a bit and then off to see Cats at the Civic center with mom and Nikki's mom. Nick's in town- hopefully I get to see him before he leaves. I need a good night tonight, but I know it will be no matter what goes on- I"ll be with my bf and she always takes care of me :) ok let me get sappy a little more- I have NO idea what I'd do without Mary. No clue- all right- I'm done acting like an 8th grade girl at the school dance crying in the bathroom. Haha, remember that girl? There was always one at the dances :) never me though!